Hey there gang, it's been a while.
I have received a few messages about my lack of blogging and here is the short version...
Nothing has motivated me to blog. Until now.
2017 has hit me with so many changes. After 20+ years with the same employer I left in search of something new that would ignite the spark I was losing. In January I began a new chapter with some really great coworkers about an hour and a half from my hometown.
I desperately needed something new and this was the perfect fit for me. What no one ever told me was how hard it would really be.
The commute had me leaving at 6:30 am and not returning home until 7 pm most evenings. I felt like I was missing out of my girls life. It was as if I was a guest in my own home and I despised life on the road. I now had employees to manage and new responsibilities to juggle.
Don't misunderstand, I like my new job but these were changes I wasn't 100% prepared for.
I knew relocating was the next step but where exactly would we land? It wasn't just about me. I had to find something that would suit all 3 of us. Clearly this was going to be a huge impact on our future.
After many weeks of searching and visiting school districts, we found something that was a great fit for my high school student and things fell into place with my college student making the quick decision to stay with us and apply to a different college. We were all moving together and things would be perfect right? Not even close.
Around Labor Day, my high school student developed a case of homesickness. She dearly missed her friends and family back home. Thank goodness for my mom stepping in with words of wisdom along with my college student who really gained a new level of maturity. We had this minor detour taken care of and could now resume our perfect life in a new town. Right? Not even close.
Somewhere amidst what I considered a new beginning for us, I lost myself.
All of the newness had taken a toll on me. Mentally and physically. My comfort zone had been breached.
Maybe it was a coincidence or simply years of built up stress that have led to my digestive tract issues but they are here as a daily reminder that stress can make you sick.
After a few doctors appointments, scans and blood tests the doctor determined there wasn't anything wrong with my digestive tract. I beg to differ because I feel it on a daily basis. On to a second opinion in the months ahead.
Then there was the mammogram and the call to repeat my mammogram. What? My issues were with my digestive tract not my breasts. The only thing I could think of were my girls. I was overthinking but I was preparing for the worst.
Being alone in that room awaiting the results of my second mammogram have hands down been the longest and scariest hour of my life. When the nurse returned and started speaking I felt my stomach drop.
There I was all alone and scared.
Then she said the words that made emotions burst like a volcano. "Your mammogram was fine". After giving me time to collect myself, I began texting and calling the people that I trusted my secret with and who I knew had been praying for me.
All of the emotions I have tucked away over the years have began to bubble to the surface for me to confront. The hurt, the loneliness, the grief. It never left.
This has by far been the toughest holiday season since my dad passed away several years ago. You see he was the one who always made sure I was taken care of without hovering over me. He was always there to give simple, to the point advice and skipped the lecture part. Oh how I wish he was here to give me advice and help me make educated choices.
There has been too much newness and it came at me all at once. A new job, new responsibilities, new town, new friends, new doctors, new pharmacy, new cleaners, new church. As exciting as it sounds, for me it has been overwhelming.
Some days I come home and I change clothes and go straight to bed. I am mentally exhausted. I am physically exhausted from being mentally exhausted. I think. I overthink. I yearn for someone to tell me that everything will be okay.
I was once the girl that had a spark. That wasn't afraid of a challenge. The girl that knew most everyone in town. That took the charge when leading. I never felt like I didn't belong.
Where did she go? Somewhere this year I lost her.
That girl has lost her spark. She no longer wants a challenge. She knows virtually no one in her new town. She is scared to be the leader. She feels like she is completely alone. She feels as if she doesn't know where she belongs.
These are the things no one tells you when you start over. Prepare yourself. I wasn't prepared for so many losses
I have probably shed more tears in private this year than ever before. This year has challenged me in ways that I never imagined. This is my own purgatory. I don't belong in my old life but I haven't found where I fit into my new life.
So what happens next?
The girl that has found herself lost in 2017 will find herself again in 2018, I am declaring I wlll find my spark again. I will again feel the confidence on the inside that I try to project on the outside.
Why am I sharing this? It is not because I want pity or reassurance. I am sharing this so that others know that just because someone looks like they have it together on the outside does not mean that they are not falling apart behind closed doors. You are not alone. Life is always changing. Some people just hide it better than others.
We are all unique but we are not alone.
So as this year comes to a close, don't be afraid to start over in 2018 but be prepared to face some losses. Don't think of it as something bad. Think of it as preparation for something better.
If you are feeling like you are lost in life, I pray that you find your way.
When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust and am not afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? Psalm 56: 3-4
Saturday, December 30, 2017
Monday, November 21, 2016
The Bully or The Hypocrite...Or Both
Let me start off by adding a disclaimer...
I am not a scholar of the Bible or psychology but I am a student. Always learning. This is simply the thoughts of a modern, real life person trying to be the best person I can be. Far from perfect.
Bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively dominate others. The behavior is often repeated and habitual.
We have all encountered them.
The outraged fan who heckles the officials. The line cutter/lane jumper who sneaks their way ahead of the crowd rather than waiting their turn. The downright grumpy person who lashes out for no particular reason.
Then there are the ones that really hurt. The family or friends that choose to place the blame you or others for their own wrongdoings. The people who call you names or insult you.
We have all met them or even acted like them.
The people we love and care about the most are causing the most hurt. Ouch...
While Jesus was preaching in the Sermon on the Mount or the Beatitudes, he gives reference to bullies (or hypocrites in some text). This can be found in the Matthew 5-7.
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye."
Specifically, I believe He is giving us a reference to our own behavior. A victim mentality.
Hypocrisy is the contrivance of a false appearance of virtue or goodness, while concealing real character or inclinations, especially with respect to religious and moral beliefs... A consistent finding of psychological research is that humans are fairly accurate in their perceptions of others, but generally inaccurate in their perceptions of themselves.
Aren't we all guilty of feeling angry at the way we are treated? I know I can be at times. If we are to do what is right, it is to take the high road rather than seeking revenge or even thinking that someone else will get what they deserve or even referring to "karma".
He refers to this as "an eye for an eye". Do we really wish people to receive the same harsh words or treatment as they have given to us? That's not the love that Jesus talks about.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get?"
This is the hardest part. Love those who have hurt you. Pray for them.
There have been many times where this has put me to the test. Love those who have spoken unkind words. Love those who have treated me unkindly. Love those who have been dishonest with me.
Lord knows I have been guilty of all these things. I would want those people to love me despite my human imperfections.
Forget the things we have done wrong and only focus on the positives.
I know if I have done something wrong, I try my best to be the first to admit I was wrong and ask for forgiveness. I do not want anyone focusing on what I have done wrong once I have gone to someone and asked for forgiveness.
This is where we need to remember that everyone is not meant to stay on your journey. Some are here to serve as lessons for our own actions.
That rude lady at the grocery store. Pray for her, forgive her, forget what happened and move on. The fan in the stands that yells at every call. Pray for him, forgive him, forget what he said and move on. You get the picture?
I hope what you have read serves as a reminder that we are to love each other without judgment or persecution. That is not our job to be judge and jury.
Turning the other cheek or taking the high road is not a cowards response. It is the wisdom learned from the teaching of the Gospel.
“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
If you haven't read the Sermon on the Mount, take a few minutes to absorb the teaching as we are all students of His word.
I am not a scholar of the Bible or psychology but I am a student. Always learning. This is simply the thoughts of a modern, real life person trying to be the best person I can be. Far from perfect.
Bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively dominate others. The behavior is often repeated and habitual.
We have all encountered them.
The outraged fan who heckles the officials. The line cutter/lane jumper who sneaks their way ahead of the crowd rather than waiting their turn. The downright grumpy person who lashes out for no particular reason.
Then there are the ones that really hurt. The family or friends that choose to place the blame you or others for their own wrongdoings. The people who call you names or insult you.
We have all met them or even acted like them.
The people we love and care about the most are causing the most hurt. Ouch...
While Jesus was preaching in the Sermon on the Mount or the Beatitudes, he gives reference to bullies (or hypocrites in some text). This can be found in the Matthew 5-7.
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye."
Specifically, I believe He is giving us a reference to our own behavior. A victim mentality.
Hypocrisy is the contrivance of a false appearance of virtue or goodness, while concealing real character or inclinations, especially with respect to religious and moral beliefs... A consistent finding of psychological research is that humans are fairly accurate in their perceptions of others, but generally inaccurate in their perceptions of themselves.
Aren't we all guilty of feeling angry at the way we are treated? I know I can be at times. If we are to do what is right, it is to take the high road rather than seeking revenge or even thinking that someone else will get what they deserve or even referring to "karma".
He refers to this as "an eye for an eye". Do we really wish people to receive the same harsh words or treatment as they have given to us? That's not the love that Jesus talks about.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get?"
This is the hardest part. Love those who have hurt you. Pray for them.
There have been many times where this has put me to the test. Love those who have spoken unkind words. Love those who have treated me unkindly. Love those who have been dishonest with me.
Lord knows I have been guilty of all these things. I would want those people to love me despite my human imperfections.
Forget the things we have done wrong and only focus on the positives.
I know if I have done something wrong, I try my best to be the first to admit I was wrong and ask for forgiveness. I do not want anyone focusing on what I have done wrong once I have gone to someone and asked for forgiveness.
This is where we need to remember that everyone is not meant to stay on your journey. Some are here to serve as lessons for our own actions.
That rude lady at the grocery store. Pray for her, forgive her, forget what happened and move on. The fan in the stands that yells at every call. Pray for him, forgive him, forget what he said and move on. You get the picture?
I hope what you have read serves as a reminder that we are to love each other without judgment or persecution. That is not our job to be judge and jury.
Turning the other cheek or taking the high road is not a cowards response. It is the wisdom learned from the teaching of the Gospel.
“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
If you haven't read the Sermon on the Mount, take a few minutes to absorb the teaching as we are all students of His word.
Thursday, September 22, 2016
Lessons Learned From "Toy Story"
I know most people are familiar with the theme song by Randy Newman "You've Got A Friend In Me" featured in "Toy Story".
Here are a few of my favorite lines:
"When the road looks rough ahead"
"You've got troubles and I've got 'em too, there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you, we stick together and see it through"
"And as the years go by, our friendship will never die"
Have you ever given much thought to how loyal are you?
Are you a loyal family member, employee or friend?
We often get caught up in the daily tasks and are often overwhelmed with obligation to the point that we lack loyalty.
Sometimes we get so consumed in me, myself and I that we forget about us and them. We neglect the people and places that have brought happiness into our lives. We forget those who have been there for us during the good times and the bad.
It's hard to live life in balance but lately this subject has weighed heavily on my heart.
Years ago I was forced to make a decision that dissolved a friendship that I had since childhood. I was so torn but I did what I had to do to keep peace at home. Over time, I cherished the memories and the laughter that remained but in my heart I felt grief and my heart was broken.
A little over a year ago, 8 years after the end of that friendship, I received a call that changed everything. My long lost friend reached out to me during my storm. It was a conversation filled with tears, laughter and heartfelt apologies. After 2 hours on the phone, we had reached a point of forgiveness, healing and a new beginning.
Not all friends will stand by you through the joys AND sorrows. I learned a very important lesson. Never leave friends when they need you the most.
In my journey, there was a point when I wasn't sure who I could trust. I felt alone, afraid and sometimes bitter. I prayed some days without ceasing. I wanted to believe the best in people even though life was very difficult at the time.
I have many friends who are separated by miles. We can go months without talking but always seem to pick up where we left off.
I always want to be the loyal friend. That true friend who doesn't tell you what you want to hear but what you need to hear. The friend that will be honest and you will respect them for their honesty. The friend that they know will answer when called. The one that will help them clean up whatever mess they have. The friend who refrains from passing judgment and just listens. The friends you can agree to disagree with.
I want to be the friend who will always come drink a beer and listen to stories. I want to have the friend that will share my stories and inside jokes. The friend that helps me up when I've fallen or pushes me down when I need a dose of reality.
So think carefully about what kind of friend you are and what kind of friends you want to have. Surround yourself with nothing but the best. You don't need an army of friends. Just a few that will be loyal no matter what.
The one friend that will remain is Jesus. In the stillness and the quiet, we know that he is there. He hears our worries and celebrates our joys. Listen to His voice when you choose those friends to share your life with.
Share you life with like minded people. And love your friends well.
Here are a few of my favorite lines:
"When the road looks rough ahead"
"You've got troubles and I've got 'em too, there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you, we stick together and see it through"
"And as the years go by, our friendship will never die"
Have you ever given much thought to how loyal are you?
Are you a loyal family member, employee or friend?
We often get caught up in the daily tasks and are often overwhelmed with obligation to the point that we lack loyalty.
Sometimes we get so consumed in me, myself and I that we forget about us and them. We neglect the people and places that have brought happiness into our lives. We forget those who have been there for us during the good times and the bad.
It's hard to live life in balance but lately this subject has weighed heavily on my heart.
Years ago I was forced to make a decision that dissolved a friendship that I had since childhood. I was so torn but I did what I had to do to keep peace at home. Over time, I cherished the memories and the laughter that remained but in my heart I felt grief and my heart was broken.
A little over a year ago, 8 years after the end of that friendship, I received a call that changed everything. My long lost friend reached out to me during my storm. It was a conversation filled with tears, laughter and heartfelt apologies. After 2 hours on the phone, we had reached a point of forgiveness, healing and a new beginning.
Not all friends will stand by you through the joys AND sorrows. I learned a very important lesson. Never leave friends when they need you the most.
In my journey, there was a point when I wasn't sure who I could trust. I felt alone, afraid and sometimes bitter. I prayed some days without ceasing. I wanted to believe the best in people even though life was very difficult at the time.
I have many friends who are separated by miles. We can go months without talking but always seem to pick up where we left off.
I always want to be the loyal friend. That true friend who doesn't tell you what you want to hear but what you need to hear. The friend that will be honest and you will respect them for their honesty. The friend that they know will answer when called. The one that will help them clean up whatever mess they have. The friend who refrains from passing judgment and just listens. The friends you can agree to disagree with.
I want to be the friend who will always come drink a beer and listen to stories. I want to have the friend that will share my stories and inside jokes. The friend that helps me up when I've fallen or pushes me down when I need a dose of reality.
So think carefully about what kind of friend you are and what kind of friends you want to have. Surround yourself with nothing but the best. You don't need an army of friends. Just a few that will be loyal no matter what.
The one friend that will remain is Jesus. In the stillness and the quiet, we know that he is there. He hears our worries and celebrates our joys. Listen to His voice when you choose those friends to share your life with.
Share you life with like minded people. And love your friends well.
Thursday, August 18, 2016
Where It All Begins
Hello readers!
Yes, I have been missing for quite some time. Chasing my life dreams have actually caught up with me. Raising 2 daughters, college classes, sports, working full time, writers block plus the many extra obligations I cannot turn down have simply consumed my time.
I have worked on this post since May. There have been revisions, rewrites, cuts and finally thoughts began to fall into place.
While I was shopping at Magnolia Market in Waco, I ran across this print. One day this print will hang inside my home as a daily reminder
.
It is generally used during wedding ceremonies and this is where my thoughts began to link to the present state of our nation and how we value each other.
With permission from Donna Beckham, I wanted to share a bit of her post about her change of marital status...
"Twenty years ago on June 1, 1996, I took a vow in front of God, married the man of my dreams and became a wife. Today, on June 2, 2016, my journey as a wife has ended.
Although I never imagined this would happen, and as confusing as it has been, I have finally come to an understanding that this is God's will. I went through the worst storm of my life and came out of it stronger than I ever thought possible! Again, I am happy, I am content and I am at peace.
One of my favorite quotes is 'When we neglect ourselves, we are ultimately neglecting everything and everyone else around us'.
What have I learned from this? Love God first. Don't depend on anyone else to make you happy. Don't settle for anyone who treats you less that a king or a queen. Embrace being on your own. Treat yourself well. Life is too short to be with people who suck the life out of you." ~Donna Beckham
Yes, this is where it all begins.
Life is about the choices we make and our free will to do so. I don't ever believe that God plans for bad things to happen to good people.
We sometimes experience an unexpected. Loss of jobs, marriages, friendships or we have a series of really bad days.
Our happiness can be achieved through love. The love we give and the love we are willing to accept.
As flawed humans, we are given the ability to make our own choices and this is where places of pain, grief and hurt are born. We neglect to show love to ourselves and the people around us. We often forget about the unconditional love that Jesus provides.
What if we changed our thoughts that normally align this scripture to marriage vows and align them with our everyday thoughts, actions and words?
What if we choose to be patient with difficult people?
What if we choose to be kind to everyone we meet?
What if we choose to not envy those who may have more than we do?
I think you get the picture.
Read this particular verse and then read it again. Maybe read it enough that you memorize it if you haven't already.
Then let's take this verse and apply it to our everyday life.
Do not delight in evil.
Always be honest no matter how hard it may be.
Always protect the people you care for.
Never give up hope and always persevere.
Let's love each other without terms or conditions.
1 Corinthians 13 3-7 (The Message)
If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.
Yes, I have been missing for quite some time. Chasing my life dreams have actually caught up with me. Raising 2 daughters, college classes, sports, working full time, writers block plus the many extra obligations I cannot turn down have simply consumed my time.
I have worked on this post since May. There have been revisions, rewrites, cuts and finally thoughts began to fall into place.
While I was shopping at Magnolia Market in Waco, I ran across this print. One day this print will hang inside my home as a daily reminder
.
It is generally used during wedding ceremonies and this is where my thoughts began to link to the present state of our nation and how we value each other.
With permission from Donna Beckham, I wanted to share a bit of her post about her change of marital status...
"Twenty years ago on June 1, 1996, I took a vow in front of God, married the man of my dreams and became a wife. Today, on June 2, 2016, my journey as a wife has ended.
Although I never imagined this would happen, and as confusing as it has been, I have finally come to an understanding that this is God's will. I went through the worst storm of my life and came out of it stronger than I ever thought possible! Again, I am happy, I am content and I am at peace.
One of my favorite quotes is 'When we neglect ourselves, we are ultimately neglecting everything and everyone else around us'.
What have I learned from this? Love God first. Don't depend on anyone else to make you happy. Don't settle for anyone who treats you less that a king or a queen. Embrace being on your own. Treat yourself well. Life is too short to be with people who suck the life out of you." ~Donna Beckham
Yes, this is where it all begins.
Life is about the choices we make and our free will to do so. I don't ever believe that God plans for bad things to happen to good people.
We sometimes experience an unexpected. Loss of jobs, marriages, friendships or we have a series of really bad days.
Our happiness can be achieved through love. The love we give and the love we are willing to accept.
As flawed humans, we are given the ability to make our own choices and this is where places of pain, grief and hurt are born. We neglect to show love to ourselves and the people around us. We often forget about the unconditional love that Jesus provides.
What if we changed our thoughts that normally align this scripture to marriage vows and align them with our everyday thoughts, actions and words?
What if we choose to be patient with difficult people?
What if we choose to be kind to everyone we meet?
What if we choose to not envy those who may have more than we do?
I think you get the picture.
Read this particular verse and then read it again. Maybe read it enough that you memorize it if you haven't already.
Then let's take this verse and apply it to our everyday life.
Do not delight in evil.
Always be honest no matter how hard it may be.
Always protect the people you care for.
Never give up hope and always persevere.
Let's love each other without terms or conditions.
1 Corinthians 13 3-7 (The Message)
If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end
Monday, April 4, 2016
Are You Ready For Answered Prayers?
My oh my.
Have you ever experienced an answered prayer?
What about an answered prayer that you were not prepared to accept?
Over the course of my life I have experienced both. Sometimes it takes much longer to realize those prayers have been answered. Then there are those times that your prayers are answered the moment you say "Amen".
There was an instance that I would like to share.
Some mornings when I wake up, I have to give my aging, tired eyes some time to adjust before I pop open my I Pad for my morning devotion. It's those times that I start my discussion with the Lord.
This particular morning, I was pouring out my concerns that were weighing on my heart. I was asking for discernment and guidance.
This particular morning I made a bold request, "Lord, if there are things in my life that are not good for me and are holding me back or if there is anyone in my life that needs to be removed, then Lord remove those people or give me eyes willing to see what needs to be seen".
Within 48 hours, that prayer was heard and the truth was revealed.
The hard part was losing the person that I thought was a blessing. Yes, there have been tears as I struggled for understanding and healing. Ultimately I know that God was guiding my path and keeping me straight.
I was sharing some of the story with my teenage daughter. I was certain she had some questions about this situation and I wanted her to know some things God does for us.
He knows what is troubling our hearts. He knows our thoughts.
We were able to have an honest discussion about how God brings people into our lives that were intended to be that blessing. However we are also given free will and sometimes things change within a person that no longer makes them a blessing but rather a lesson.
Although I couldn't give her an explanation as to why something within them changed only that God was making it very clear that He would not let anything into our lives to cause us further harm.
Ecclesiastes 3:1
There is a time for everything and a time for every matter under the heavens
Friends, our God is a God of mercy. He will not leave you to live in harm. Just take a moment to be still, listen and be prepared to be amazed.
Have you ever experienced an answered prayer?
What about an answered prayer that you were not prepared to accept?
Over the course of my life I have experienced both. Sometimes it takes much longer to realize those prayers have been answered. Then there are those times that your prayers are answered the moment you say "Amen".
There was an instance that I would like to share.
Some mornings when I wake up, I have to give my aging, tired eyes some time to adjust before I pop open my I Pad for my morning devotion. It's those times that I start my discussion with the Lord.
This particular morning, I was pouring out my concerns that were weighing on my heart. I was asking for discernment and guidance.
This particular morning I made a bold request, "Lord, if there are things in my life that are not good for me and are holding me back or if there is anyone in my life that needs to be removed, then Lord remove those people or give me eyes willing to see what needs to be seen".
Within 48 hours, that prayer was heard and the truth was revealed.
The hard part was losing the person that I thought was a blessing. Yes, there have been tears as I struggled for understanding and healing. Ultimately I know that God was guiding my path and keeping me straight.
I was sharing some of the story with my teenage daughter. I was certain she had some questions about this situation and I wanted her to know some things God does for us.
He knows what is troubling our hearts. He knows our thoughts.
We were able to have an honest discussion about how God brings people into our lives that were intended to be that blessing. However we are also given free will and sometimes things change within a person that no longer makes them a blessing but rather a lesson.
Although I couldn't give her an explanation as to why something within them changed only that God was making it very clear that He would not let anything into our lives to cause us further harm.
Ecclesiastes 3:1
There is a time for everything and a time for every matter under the heavens
Friends, our God is a God of mercy. He will not leave you to live in harm. Just take a moment to be still, listen and be prepared to be amazed.
Friday, March 25, 2016
When Life Hurts
There are times when stated plain and simply, life hurts.
My mechanism of coping with hurt is to hide.
We have a standing joke at my house that I just want to drink wine in my PJ's and raise cats. Even though I really don't like cats, it seems to be what the older, single women on my block do. They feed cats, check the mail and take out the trash. On repeat.
There can be a stretch of several days where I am thrilled with life. Everything is great, the sun is out and life seems too good to be true.
It is on the days of hurt feelings, insecurities and unrest that I want to "hunker down" and not face the world.
I have learned on those hard days that I can ask for one thing from people. Prayer.
Matthew 18:20 CEB
For where two or three are gathered in my name, I'm there with them
There have been many tears that flow because life hurts. I also know that these tears are for the growing season. A time where the seeds have been planted, are now being watered and will become a crop to be gathered.
I will also be the first one to say that I am not a patient gardener. I want to see immediate results and I suppose that is why I have never planted a garden. It requires more patience than I am willing to give.
I know that if I will stay the course, things always get better. A few bad days are followed by some really terrific days.
It's not a bad life, it's just a bad day.
If you are like me, these bad days come from a source of pain either current or past. Sometimes there are visible scars or the ones buried deep beneath the surface that may flare up to remind us of the places that hurt.
The truth is, life will never be perfect. We will always have hard days. We will always experience hurt. Not every seed that is planted turns into a "bumper crop".
The loss of a loved one, a relationship, a job, financial loss, guilt or hurt feelings can always expose those scars and make the hurt float to the surface and become visible again.
This is where we have to let hope float. I have to learn to tread water a little longer. Keep planting and watering the seeds waiting to see the first signs of growth.
The rescue boat is on the horizon. It is captained by the only one who can cure us of all the hurt. Jesus.
In His time, he will take those tears and use them for good.
He will give us those mustard seeds of faith to hold us together.
He holds the life preserver that will keep us afloat.
He is our lighthouse and our master gardener.
Stay afloat and see those hurts of life turn to beautiful blooms.
"do you know what hurts so very much? It's love. Love is the strongest force in the world, and when it is blocked that means pain."
"There are two things we can do when this happens. We can kill the love so that it stops hurting. But then of course part of us dies, too. Or, Corrie, we can ask God to open up another route for that love to travel.~ Corrie Ten Boom
My mechanism of coping with hurt is to hide.
We have a standing joke at my house that I just want to drink wine in my PJ's and raise cats. Even though I really don't like cats, it seems to be what the older, single women on my block do. They feed cats, check the mail and take out the trash. On repeat.
There can be a stretch of several days where I am thrilled with life. Everything is great, the sun is out and life seems too good to be true.
It is on the days of hurt feelings, insecurities and unrest that I want to "hunker down" and not face the world.
I have learned on those hard days that I can ask for one thing from people. Prayer.
Matthew 18:20 CEB
For where two or three are gathered in my name, I'm there with them
There have been many tears that flow because life hurts. I also know that these tears are for the growing season. A time where the seeds have been planted, are now being watered and will become a crop to be gathered.
I will also be the first one to say that I am not a patient gardener. I want to see immediate results and I suppose that is why I have never planted a garden. It requires more patience than I am willing to give.
I know that if I will stay the course, things always get better. A few bad days are followed by some really terrific days.
It's not a bad life, it's just a bad day.
If you are like me, these bad days come from a source of pain either current or past. Sometimes there are visible scars or the ones buried deep beneath the surface that may flare up to remind us of the places that hurt.
The truth is, life will never be perfect. We will always have hard days. We will always experience hurt. Not every seed that is planted turns into a "bumper crop".
The loss of a loved one, a relationship, a job, financial loss, guilt or hurt feelings can always expose those scars and make the hurt float to the surface and become visible again.
This is where we have to let hope float. I have to learn to tread water a little longer. Keep planting and watering the seeds waiting to see the first signs of growth.
The rescue boat is on the horizon. It is captained by the only one who can cure us of all the hurt. Jesus.
In His time, he will take those tears and use them for good.
He will give us those mustard seeds of faith to hold us together.
He holds the life preserver that will keep us afloat.
He is our lighthouse and our master gardener.
Stay afloat and see those hurts of life turn to beautiful blooms.
"do you know what hurts so very much? It's love. Love is the strongest force in the world, and when it is blocked that means pain."
"There are two things we can do when this happens. We can kill the love so that it stops hurting. But then of course part of us dies, too. Or, Corrie, we can ask God to open up another route for that love to travel.~ Corrie Ten Boom
Saturday, March 12, 2016
An Ultra Runner
Running.
There was a time when I absolutely hated it. I could barely run a complete lap around the track in junior high. I never ran in high school or my early college years. As I hit my 20's, I chose to walk.
It wasn't until after the birth of my second child that I decided to jog and as I entered my 40's, I decided to embrace what I hated.
Now running became a release. A way to release any untruths and just let my mind rest.
"Pain teaches us to run comfortably" ~ Born to Run
As I sit here looking out my patio on a rainy morning, the two books I have spent time on the past couple of weeks have linked two areas of me that I need to work on.
My running abilities and all of my jagged edged insecurities.
The book "Born to Run: A Hidden Tribe, Superathletes, and the Greatest Race the World Has Never Seen" by Christopher McDougall introduced me to the Tarahumara Indians and the world of ultra runners. These people run for fun and I am not talking my usual 3 miles. They run for over 100 miles just for fun. Talk about a race of endurance.
What surprised me most was the gentle, reclusive nature of the Tarahumara. They are quiet people who live secluded in the hills of Mexico but possess the ability to run for days only wearing thin sandals. It was quite a revelation of sorts that this tribe can be content and happy living in seclusion, maintaining a minimal diet, not possessing material things and have a smile on their face when they run.
This linked my thoughts to my current Beth Moore read, "So Long Insecurity: You've Been a Bad Friend To Us". It is my daily battle to overcome 20+ years of letting emotional damage wreck my thoughts. If you have never been in this place, take a moment and thank God. If you have been down this road, it is truly an ultra marathon.
Let the Lord give strength to his people! Let the Lord bless his people with peace! Psalms 29:11 CEB
Tying these two places together is easy for me. They are both races of endurance that challenges the body, mind and soul. Running and healing are intertwined in my thoughts. How can I become better at both?
It's in the words of truth which God lays out before us.
...If God is for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31 CEB
The race set before all of us in in our thoughts, words and deeds. It is a race of being content and happy no matter the circumstance.
The thing that struck a chord with me in "Born to Run" was how all of these ultra runners from different parts of the US joined the Tarahumara to run this secret elite race. In the end there was a winner but what was most important was how when each racer crossed the finish line, they didn't stop and celebrate themselves. They ran back to encourage those behind them.
What if we viewed life in that same way? What if today, we took the time to encourage someone that has fallen behind? What if we leave behind our pride and our sense of self to give something to someone else? What if we leave behind insecurities at the starting line and finish with confidence?
I know something I am passionate about is healing. I want nothing more than to help someone who has fallen behind, to lift them up, to encourage them and to be their helping hand.
Sometimes this race means leaving behind the things that are doing us harm in pursuit of the things that God intends to richly reward us. At times, we have to come to terms with not everyone is meant to stay in our journey. I hate to use the familiar phrase but some people are a blessing and others are a lesson.
When we feel rejected, betrayed, hurt or replaced we feel the need to compete. The fact is, we can't compete and we must not choose to compete. We are "clothed in strength and dignity". Remember that statement.
When we set ourselves on this journey of endurance, God is always with us. His Holy Spirit fills us. We are equipped for this ultra race as Christians. We must not choose to compete with those who threaten or exploit our weak or vulnerable spots.
Choose to live peacefully as the Tarahumara. Choose to run your race with the endurance that is only filled with God's words of truth.
So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. Hebrews 10: 35-36
There was a time when I absolutely hated it. I could barely run a complete lap around the track in junior high. I never ran in high school or my early college years. As I hit my 20's, I chose to walk.
It wasn't until after the birth of my second child that I decided to jog and as I entered my 40's, I decided to embrace what I hated.
Now running became a release. A way to release any untruths and just let my mind rest.
"Pain teaches us to run comfortably" ~ Born to Run
As I sit here looking out my patio on a rainy morning, the two books I have spent time on the past couple of weeks have linked two areas of me that I need to work on.
My running abilities and all of my jagged edged insecurities.
The book "Born to Run: A Hidden Tribe, Superathletes, and the Greatest Race the World Has Never Seen" by Christopher McDougall introduced me to the Tarahumara Indians and the world of ultra runners. These people run for fun and I am not talking my usual 3 miles. They run for over 100 miles just for fun. Talk about a race of endurance.
What surprised me most was the gentle, reclusive nature of the Tarahumara. They are quiet people who live secluded in the hills of Mexico but possess the ability to run for days only wearing thin sandals. It was quite a revelation of sorts that this tribe can be content and happy living in seclusion, maintaining a minimal diet, not possessing material things and have a smile on their face when they run.
This linked my thoughts to my current Beth Moore read, "So Long Insecurity: You've Been a Bad Friend To Us". It is my daily battle to overcome 20+ years of letting emotional damage wreck my thoughts. If you have never been in this place, take a moment and thank God. If you have been down this road, it is truly an ultra marathon.
Let the Lord give strength to his people! Let the Lord bless his people with peace! Psalms 29:11 CEB
Tying these two places together is easy for me. They are both races of endurance that challenges the body, mind and soul. Running and healing are intertwined in my thoughts. How can I become better at both?
It's in the words of truth which God lays out before us.
...If God is for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31 CEB
The race set before all of us in in our thoughts, words and deeds. It is a race of being content and happy no matter the circumstance.
The thing that struck a chord with me in "Born to Run" was how all of these ultra runners from different parts of the US joined the Tarahumara to run this secret elite race. In the end there was a winner but what was most important was how when each racer crossed the finish line, they didn't stop and celebrate themselves. They ran back to encourage those behind them.
What if we viewed life in that same way? What if today, we took the time to encourage someone that has fallen behind? What if we leave behind our pride and our sense of self to give something to someone else? What if we leave behind insecurities at the starting line and finish with confidence?
I know something I am passionate about is healing. I want nothing more than to help someone who has fallen behind, to lift them up, to encourage them and to be their helping hand.
Sometimes this race means leaving behind the things that are doing us harm in pursuit of the things that God intends to richly reward us. At times, we have to come to terms with not everyone is meant to stay in our journey. I hate to use the familiar phrase but some people are a blessing and others are a lesson.
When we feel rejected, betrayed, hurt or replaced we feel the need to compete. The fact is, we can't compete and we must not choose to compete. We are "clothed in strength and dignity". Remember that statement.
When we set ourselves on this journey of endurance, God is always with us. His Holy Spirit fills us. We are equipped for this ultra race as Christians. We must not choose to compete with those who threaten or exploit our weak or vulnerable spots.
Choose to live peacefully as the Tarahumara. Choose to run your race with the endurance that is only filled with God's words of truth.
So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. Hebrews 10: 35-36
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