Do you ever feel as though you are invisible? Like what you have to say or how you feel are insignificant? Like you are nothing?
I have been there. I found myself being a third party of a conversation but as harsh words were exchanged, I wondered "Why am I here?"
It was if they were having the conversation and I was merely there for entertainment purposes. When I spoke, it was not acknowledged. I was the third wheel.
I stood there feeling completely insecure and insignificant. It was painful.
Jesus doesn't see us that way. He sees us as worthy children who are valued. He listens to what we have to say even when we may think He is too busy to listen.
During those times when you feel undervalued, always remember that with God you are priceless.
How I am feeling is not who I am. God sees my hurt.
You are important and what you have to say is important.
It is a constant reminder that the enemy works overtime producing those feelings that make us feel less than zero. When these thoughts and feelings start to bubble, this is when I say "Jesus, be my shield". It may be said several times during the day until that shield is fulling engaged and my mind is set back where it belongs.
Going through the wilderness may seem like a long, exhausting journey. For some the wilderness lasts for many seasons and others may find their journey only lasts a little while. God will not keep you in the wilderness.
When that journey takes you to a place where you feel invisible and insignificant, always remember the hope that God's word gives us:
1 Peter 1:6
You now rejoice in this hope, even if it is necessary for you to be distressed for a short time by various trials
The way we feel, our emotions, do not give us a free pass to treat others with the same hurt we may be feeling. This is the time when we have to dig deep and do the opposite of how we feel in that moment of hurt.
Jesus did not leave me in the wilderness. He was with me and stayed with me as a friend does.
I prayed constantly for this issue to be resolved, for eyes to be opened and any selfish motives be removed. I prayed to forgive them. It burned in my heart and in my mind for weeks.
The day finally came when I had my own selfish thoughts revealed.
I was so angry over this incident that one morning as I was running I had a horrible thought. I said to myself "I would just like to jab a nail in her tire and teach her a lesson. I want her to experience some type of distress". I knew my thoughts were not aligned with God's word but I could justify it because I carried this anger and hurt.
Two hours later, God gave me my wake up call. My low tire light came on. Yep! I received what I had wished on someone else like a boomerang.
I was the one who received the nail and that is when I knew I had to change my prayers over this matter.
At that moment, my prayer for them became filled with blessings. I needed to let go of my own selfish hurt and choose to turn it over to the Lord.
Several months after this encounter that left me feeling like nothing, I was surprised when I received an apology 4 days from the time I decided to change the way I was praying.
In my heart, I knew I was carrying bitterness, anger and hurt feelings. I shed many tears and asked God to help me get through this time.
I will not forget the incident but through the act of grace, I accepted the apology.
Friends, always remember that we have to be patient. God does not leave you in the dark places to suffer, He takes you there to make you grow.
Monday, October 26, 2015
Friday, October 9, 2015
I'm Not That Person
As a little girl, I would sit and daydream about my future. I drew countless pictures of my dream house, inside and out. I planned my wedding by listing my bridesmaids based on who ranked as my favorite friends.
How simple life was back then. The dreams. The future. The innocence.
Year after passing year, those dreams changed. A sort of reality took its place.
I still remained a dreamer but those dreams began to take a different shape. They began to mature and become real.
My first job.
My first car.
My first love.
My first broken heart.
My house plans sit on a shelf collecting dust.
All of the swirling dreams of a little girl began to shift to worries of a young woman. The place is set where fantasy collides with reality.
So, how do we as grown ups keep dreams alive?
It begins with searching your heart. What dream has God placed within you? Are you pursuing your dreams?
I know for me, keeping the dream alive takes a great amount of stillness and soul searching not to mention the part where I have to demonstrate self control and give up my own selfish thoughts. It is so hard to dive deep into yourself and become totally honest.
What is even harder is to be patient and not try to control the pace. It makes me want to clinch my fists and scream. Why do dreams have to be so hard for me? Why am I so afraid to fail? Why does this path seem so narrow and crooked? Why Lord why do I feel like I take 1 step forward and 2 steps back? Why does my mind keep searching the past for answers rather than looking toward the future? Why do I seem to be stuck in the hard places?
Yes, I am truly grateful for all that I have and praise Him but he also sees a very ugly side of me. The one that asks the hard questions, has doubts and worries but never fails to tell Him that I love Him and to be patient with me. I am truly doing the best I can on this path called life.
If you are searching your dreams, try to begin by focusing on the positive things then move to the middle and include any murky, swampy, waters that you are afraid to cross on your own. End that search with thankfulness. Become thankful for the ugly middle that brought you to this very honest search and conversation with Christ. Give thanks that He is on this journey with you and you are not alone.
I am not that person who gives up the dream. I want to keep my dreams alive.
I am not that person who doesn't ask questions. My mind continually thinks.
I am not that person who I once was. I want to be this new version.
Life has changed me. It has made me a little broken, a little lonely, a little scared and a little empty but also a little healed and able to share a little bit of love.
I am that person who is a little rough around the edges. Some days I fail to see all the goodness as pursue my dreams so Lord please keep making me.
Acts 15:7-9 (NIV)
After much discussion, Peter got up and addressed them: “Brothers, you know that some time ago God made a choice among you that the Gentiles might hear from my lips the message of the gospel and believe. God, who knows the heart, showed that he accepted them by giving the Holy Spirit to them, just as he did to us. He did not discriminate between us and them, for he purified their hearts by faith.
How simple life was back then. The dreams. The future. The innocence.
Year after passing year, those dreams changed. A sort of reality took its place.
I still remained a dreamer but those dreams began to take a different shape. They began to mature and become real.
My first job.
My first car.
My first love.
My first broken heart.
My house plans sit on a shelf collecting dust.
All of the swirling dreams of a little girl began to shift to worries of a young woman. The place is set where fantasy collides with reality.
So, how do we as grown ups keep dreams alive?
It begins with searching your heart. What dream has God placed within you? Are you pursuing your dreams?
I know for me, keeping the dream alive takes a great amount of stillness and soul searching not to mention the part where I have to demonstrate self control and give up my own selfish thoughts. It is so hard to dive deep into yourself and become totally honest.
What is even harder is to be patient and not try to control the pace. It makes me want to clinch my fists and scream. Why do dreams have to be so hard for me? Why am I so afraid to fail? Why does this path seem so narrow and crooked? Why Lord why do I feel like I take 1 step forward and 2 steps back? Why does my mind keep searching the past for answers rather than looking toward the future? Why do I seem to be stuck in the hard places?
Yes, I am truly grateful for all that I have and praise Him but he also sees a very ugly side of me. The one that asks the hard questions, has doubts and worries but never fails to tell Him that I love Him and to be patient with me. I am truly doing the best I can on this path called life.
If you are searching your dreams, try to begin by focusing on the positive things then move to the middle and include any murky, swampy, waters that you are afraid to cross on your own. End that search with thankfulness. Become thankful for the ugly middle that brought you to this very honest search and conversation with Christ. Give thanks that He is on this journey with you and you are not alone.
I am not that person who gives up the dream. I want to keep my dreams alive.
I am not that person who doesn't ask questions. My mind continually thinks.
I am not that person who I once was. I want to be this new version.
Life has changed me. It has made me a little broken, a little lonely, a little scared and a little empty but also a little healed and able to share a little bit of love.
I am that person who is a little rough around the edges. Some days I fail to see all the goodness as pursue my dreams so Lord please keep making me.
Acts 15:7-9 (NIV)
After much discussion, Peter got up and addressed them: “Brothers, you know that some time ago God made a choice among you that the Gentiles might hear from my lips the message of the gospel and believe. God, who knows the heart, showed that he accepted them by giving the Holy Spirit to them, just as he did to us. He did not discriminate between us and them, for he purified their hearts by faith.
Monday, September 28, 2015
Call of Duty
Duty calls. It seems like the business of volunteering has once again taken center stage.
Many hats. Much time. Zero energy.
When we are in service to others, it is one of the greatest rewards we can give. We give a tiny bit of our lives to someone else. A priceless gift.
To me, there is nothing more rewarding than serving others.
Sometimes that service comes at a price.
I become mentally and physically exhausted. I feel like I am not giving 100% effort and failing to serve in the way I envision.
Deep down, I have a fear of failure. Failure to live up to my own expectations.
While there are days when I am drained, my legs ache and I feel like I have nothing more to give I am reminded that I can do more.
A few hours of sleep can do wonders for the body and soul.
When I lay down, I turn what I may be feeling over to God.
Every failure.
Every sin.
Every mistake.
Every worry.
I ask Jesus to forgive me and to help me forgive others. It is a constant, never ending process.
After I turn everything over to Him, I give thanks.
Colossians 3:17
Whatever you do, whether in speech or action, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus and give thanks to God the Father through him.
During those times when I feel drained, God never ceases to amaze me. I can look back on the week and see how He has woven bits of encouragement into my life. He is the Great Artist and we are His masterpiece.
He restores my faith when I feel I have none.
He give me hope when I feel I am lost.
He gives me love when I feel unloved.
The days when I feel I want to give up serving others is when He breathes life back into me. Sometimes it's very subtle, like a small bit of energy just when I need it. At other times, it's a jolt of full throttle adrenaline that makes me feel like I could move a bus.
I always remember that this is what I am called to do even when I feel drained. Serve.
He reminds me that I am to serve others with the heart of a servant. Even to those I do not want to serve. You know, the ones that are hard to love.
I am to give back to others the gifts that He gives me every day.
Grace. Peace. Faith. Hope. Love. Kindness. Forgiveness.
Some days these gifts are easy to give to others but there are those days that I struggle. My two biggest struggles are forgiving others and showing grace.
Forgiveness and grace are my work in progress. If I want to receive the full gifts that Christ wants me to have, I must serve others in every way. Especially on my struggling days.
Let Jesus into your heart and let Him fill your life with the abundant gifts that He longs to give. Then take that gift and share it with others. Even the ones that are hard to love.
1 Peter 4:9-11
Open your homes to each other without complaining. And serve each other according to the gift each person has received, as good managers of God’s diverse gifts. Whoever speaks should do so as those who speak God’s word. Whoever serves should do so from the strength that God furnishes. Do this so that in everything God may be honored through Jesus Christ. To him be honor and power forever and always. Amen.
Many hats. Much time. Zero energy.
When we are in service to others, it is one of the greatest rewards we can give. We give a tiny bit of our lives to someone else. A priceless gift.
To me, there is nothing more rewarding than serving others.
Sometimes that service comes at a price.
I become mentally and physically exhausted. I feel like I am not giving 100% effort and failing to serve in the way I envision.
Deep down, I have a fear of failure. Failure to live up to my own expectations.
While there are days when I am drained, my legs ache and I feel like I have nothing more to give I am reminded that I can do more.
A few hours of sleep can do wonders for the body and soul.
When I lay down, I turn what I may be feeling over to God.
Every failure.
Every sin.
Every mistake.
Every worry.
I ask Jesus to forgive me and to help me forgive others. It is a constant, never ending process.
After I turn everything over to Him, I give thanks.
Colossians 3:17
Whatever you do, whether in speech or action, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus and give thanks to God the Father through him.
During those times when I feel drained, God never ceases to amaze me. I can look back on the week and see how He has woven bits of encouragement into my life. He is the Great Artist and we are His masterpiece.
He restores my faith when I feel I have none.
He give me hope when I feel I am lost.
He gives me love when I feel unloved.
The days when I feel I want to give up serving others is when He breathes life back into me. Sometimes it's very subtle, like a small bit of energy just when I need it. At other times, it's a jolt of full throttle adrenaline that makes me feel like I could move a bus.
I always remember that this is what I am called to do even when I feel drained. Serve.
He reminds me that I am to serve others with the heart of a servant. Even to those I do not want to serve. You know, the ones that are hard to love.
I am to give back to others the gifts that He gives me every day.
Grace. Peace. Faith. Hope. Love. Kindness. Forgiveness.
Some days these gifts are easy to give to others but there are those days that I struggle. My two biggest struggles are forgiving others and showing grace.
Forgiveness and grace are my work in progress. If I want to receive the full gifts that Christ wants me to have, I must serve others in every way. Especially on my struggling days.
Let Jesus into your heart and let Him fill your life with the abundant gifts that He longs to give. Then take that gift and share it with others. Even the ones that are hard to love.
1 Peter 4:9-11
Open your homes to each other without complaining. And serve each other according to the gift each person has received, as good managers of God’s diverse gifts. Whoever speaks should do so as those who speak God’s word. Whoever serves should do so from the strength that God furnishes. Do this so that in everything God may be honored through Jesus Christ. To him be honor and power forever and always. Amen.
Monday, September 14, 2015
And the Rain Came
Dear Friends,
Do you ever feel as if you are on a rollercoaster? The day starts out simply clicking ahead. You are moving upward and forward. You seem to coast along for a short while. You take a sharp turn. You are thrust forward and feel as if you are freefalling to the bottom. It's fast and terrifying.
A mentor of mine whispered to me one day, "Kim, you know that the enemy will try his hardest when you are making a breakthrough. He will come at you with all his might and try to destroy you."
She was absolutely right. He wants to separate us from the love of Jesus.
Our path is under construction. A constant state of construction. We are becoming refined, renewed and refreshed every day.
Isiah 61:6 (MSG)
They’ll rebuild the old ruins,
raise a new city out of the wreckage.
They’ll start over on the ruined cities,
take the rubble left behind and make it new.
Somedays my construction is delayed by the weather. Most often it is rain. Rain that comes in the form of weeping.
I will honestly admit that I am full of emotions. I weep when I'm happy. I weep when I am sad. I laugh when I'm happy. I laugh when I'm sad.
I cannot help that I am full of emotion. That is the way God made me. I would rather someone see me cry than be the person who stands there emotionless.
When the tears fall like rain and I'm in the state of freefall that I rely on my faith to catch me.
I think there are just days where we are not certain. Are we following the right path? If we are on the right path, why does it seem like we took a dead end or detour?
God gave me the ability to come to Him when I feel uncertain.
This is God's plan to construct us even when we feel as though we are lost in the abyss of construction. When we drop to our knees and plead for the rain to stop. When we are blinded by the pouring rain and trust that God will get us safely to our destination.
The day will come when we will experience the excitement of the rollercoaster ride rather than the fear. The letting go of the bar with your hands in the air, screaming in delight.
The day when the rain stops, the path is clear and beautiful. The sun is shining and we are basking in the abundance of the day.
Until then my friends, follow the winding road. Take the detor. Turn around if you need to. Exit the rollercoaster and fall back in line.
The ride isn't over.
It is only just begun.
Psalm 116:8-9
You, God, have delivered me from death, my eyes from tears, and my foot from stumbling, so I’ll walk before the Lord in the land of the living.
Do you ever feel as if you are on a rollercoaster? The day starts out simply clicking ahead. You are moving upward and forward. You seem to coast along for a short while. You take a sharp turn. You are thrust forward and feel as if you are freefalling to the bottom. It's fast and terrifying.
A mentor of mine whispered to me one day, "Kim, you know that the enemy will try his hardest when you are making a breakthrough. He will come at you with all his might and try to destroy you."
She was absolutely right. He wants to separate us from the love of Jesus.
Our path is under construction. A constant state of construction. We are becoming refined, renewed and refreshed every day.
Isiah 61:6 (MSG)
They’ll rebuild the old ruins,
raise a new city out of the wreckage.
They’ll start over on the ruined cities,
take the rubble left behind and make it new.
Somedays my construction is delayed by the weather. Most often it is rain. Rain that comes in the form of weeping.
I will honestly admit that I am full of emotions. I weep when I'm happy. I weep when I am sad. I laugh when I'm happy. I laugh when I'm sad.
I cannot help that I am full of emotion. That is the way God made me. I would rather someone see me cry than be the person who stands there emotionless.
When the tears fall like rain and I'm in the state of freefall that I rely on my faith to catch me.
I think there are just days where we are not certain. Are we following the right path? If we are on the right path, why does it seem like we took a dead end or detour?
God gave me the ability to come to Him when I feel uncertain.
This is God's plan to construct us even when we feel as though we are lost in the abyss of construction. When we drop to our knees and plead for the rain to stop. When we are blinded by the pouring rain and trust that God will get us safely to our destination.
The day will come when we will experience the excitement of the rollercoaster ride rather than the fear. The letting go of the bar with your hands in the air, screaming in delight.
The day when the rain stops, the path is clear and beautiful. The sun is shining and we are basking in the abundance of the day.
Until then my friends, follow the winding road. Take the detor. Turn around if you need to. Exit the rollercoaster and fall back in line.
The ride isn't over.
It is only just begun.
Psalm 116:8-9
You, God, have delivered me from death, my eyes from tears, and my foot from stumbling, so I’ll walk before the Lord in the land of the living.
Thursday, August 27, 2015
Humble and Forgiven
2 Corinthians 2:10-11
If you forgive anyone for anything, I do too. And whatever I’ve forgiven (if I’ve forgiven anything), I did it for you in the presence of Christ. This is so that we won’t be taken advantage of by Satan, because we are well aware of his schemes.
Do you ever look back and think of a time when you could have handled something differently? I sure do.
I know there have been times when I have messed up so terribly that I can't think of a way to make ammends.
Maybe it was a "knee jerk" reaction.
Harsh words said from hurt feelings.
Talking rather than listening.
Trying to prove I'm right rather than doing what is right.
The truth is, we all have experienced our share of messes. The real truth is once it's done, it can't be undone.
Some of the things we create in our mess do not reveal who we really are. Sometimes they come from a place of such deep hurt that we simply cannot conceal it.
The pressure that we put on ourselves in our journey can be overwhelming. We push forward and try to do our best and then...WHAM! We find ourselves clinging to the end of a rope and we feel as if no one sees or hears us. We feel alone in the wilderness.
We made a mistake.
We knowingly committed a sin.
We unintentionally committed a sin.
We are humiliated.
We made a mess.
We feel like a failure.
The truth is we are not any of these feelings.
The experience may make us feel like a spiritual failure. We are now insecure because of the perfection we expect. The only perfection we should seek does not come in human form.
He is molding you. He is not finished with you. He sees you.
I have learned as I get older that trying to make ammends requires a great act of courage. The courage to say you have messed up and the courage to ask someone for forgiveness.
Giving or recieving forgiveness does not mean forgetting. It means making peace with yourself and with others.
With God, once you humble yourself to ask for forgiveness it is removed.
Don't ever forget your value. You are priceless in the eyes of the Lord. You are a blessing. You are forgiven.
Proverbs 3:5-12 (The Message)
Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
he’s the one who will keep you on track.
Don’t assume that you know it all.
Run to God! Run from evil!
Your body will glow with health,
your very bones will vibrate with life!
Honor God with everything you own;
give him the first and the best.
Your barns will burst,
your wine vats will brim over.
But don’t, dear friend, resent God’s discipline;
don’t sulk under his loving correction.
It’s the child he loves that God corrects;
a father’s delight is behind all this.
If you forgive anyone for anything, I do too. And whatever I’ve forgiven (if I’ve forgiven anything), I did it for you in the presence of Christ. This is so that we won’t be taken advantage of by Satan, because we are well aware of his schemes.
Do you ever look back and think of a time when you could have handled something differently? I sure do.
I know there have been times when I have messed up so terribly that I can't think of a way to make ammends.
Maybe it was a "knee jerk" reaction.
Harsh words said from hurt feelings.
Talking rather than listening.
Trying to prove I'm right rather than doing what is right.
The truth is, we all have experienced our share of messes. The real truth is once it's done, it can't be undone.
Some of the things we create in our mess do not reveal who we really are. Sometimes they come from a place of such deep hurt that we simply cannot conceal it.
The pressure that we put on ourselves in our journey can be overwhelming. We push forward and try to do our best and then...WHAM! We find ourselves clinging to the end of a rope and we feel as if no one sees or hears us. We feel alone in the wilderness.
We made a mistake.
We knowingly committed a sin.
We unintentionally committed a sin.
We are humiliated.
We made a mess.
We feel like a failure.
The truth is we are not any of these feelings.
The experience may make us feel like a spiritual failure. We are now insecure because of the perfection we expect. The only perfection we should seek does not come in human form.
He is molding you. He is not finished with you. He sees you.
I have learned as I get older that trying to make ammends requires a great act of courage. The courage to say you have messed up and the courage to ask someone for forgiveness.
Giving or recieving forgiveness does not mean forgetting. It means making peace with yourself and with others.
With God, once you humble yourself to ask for forgiveness it is removed.
Don't ever forget your value. You are priceless in the eyes of the Lord. You are a blessing. You are forgiven.
Proverbs 3:5-12 (The Message)
Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
he’s the one who will keep you on track.
Don’t assume that you know it all.
Run to God! Run from evil!
Your body will glow with health,
your very bones will vibrate with life!
Honor God with everything you own;
give him the first and the best.
Your barns will burst,
your wine vats will brim over.
But don’t, dear friend, resent God’s discipline;
don’t sulk under his loving correction.
It’s the child he loves that God corrects;
a father’s delight is behind all this.
Monday, August 17, 2015
One More Chance
2 Timothy 3:15-17
"Since childhood you have known the holy scriptures that help you to be wise in a way that leads to salvation through faith that is in Christ Jesus. Every scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching, for showing mistakes, for correcting, and for training character, so that the person who belongs to God can be equipped to do everything that is good."
Excitement begins again.
When the new school year approaches, memories creep into my mind. All of those first days of school I have experienced make me yearn for one more. My time experiencing those days are quickly disappearing.
In the midst of the chaos of motherhood, you long to remember those days when you held that tiny baby in you arms. Both those baby girls are now teenagers and present their new list of demands.
No more rushing to make a bottle for the child screaming to be fed. Now they drive to pick up their own food.
No more diapers to be changed or tiny clothes to wash in Dreft. Now their clothes and mine are often shared.
Some days I would like a chance to rock my baby girls to sleep one more time. To hold them and watch them drift off to sleep. To be able to treasure that time not knowing it would be the last.
One more bath where you struggle to hold a slippery baby with one arm while maneuvering a wash cloth and soap with the other.
Oh those precious memories.
Just let me walk them into their Pre-k class one more time. Sadly, that is all we get. One chance.
Time passes too quickly.
There was a time when I would pray that God would keep them safe. I still pray that prayer but over the years, I have added.
"Dear God,
Please keep my children safe. Keep their friends safe. Help them to make good choices. Let them do things that are pleasing to you. Let them walk in faith. Let them be a light. Let them never forget that they are loved. One day bring a man of God into their lives that will love them unconditionally and lead their family to be Your faithful servants."
Over the years I have spent a little time in our local public schools and in the Sunday school classroom. I have mentored, read, volunteered and served as many times as I could.
During those times I have learned to be an active listener. An active listener really focuses on what is being said.
I have always felt in my heart that some kids are not heard. They are seen for who they are on the outside rather than what they have in their heart.
At times, I felt that some needed to be heard more than others. Those students are the ones I always wanted to ask questions to engage their mind and let them know that I was really listening to them.
I hope they remember that. There is a different feeling when you see someone you have actively listened to. They believe that someone cared enough about them to just listen.
I was not an active listener to my own kids at times. There were demands of motherhood, work and stress in general that stole away some precious moments. Today, I am doing my best to be that active listener in my own home.
This school year, I plan to practice hospitality more often. I want every person who steps through my door to know that they are welcome.
I am mentally taking a different approach to this new beginning. Savoring every precious memory before these last few school years are a distant memory.
Cherish those who care, those who need to be heard, those that have nothing to offer in return. You may impact someones life in a way you never imagined.
You only have one chance at life. One chance to make a difference.
Show someone you care today and let them know that what they have to say is important.
Teach them well. Be a listener. Have a servants heart.
"Since childhood you have known the holy scriptures that help you to be wise in a way that leads to salvation through faith that is in Christ Jesus. Every scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching, for showing mistakes, for correcting, and for training character, so that the person who belongs to God can be equipped to do everything that is good."
Excitement begins again.
When the new school year approaches, memories creep into my mind. All of those first days of school I have experienced make me yearn for one more. My time experiencing those days are quickly disappearing.
In the midst of the chaos of motherhood, you long to remember those days when you held that tiny baby in you arms. Both those baby girls are now teenagers and present their new list of demands.
No more rushing to make a bottle for the child screaming to be fed. Now they drive to pick up their own food.
No more diapers to be changed or tiny clothes to wash in Dreft. Now their clothes and mine are often shared.
Some days I would like a chance to rock my baby girls to sleep one more time. To hold them and watch them drift off to sleep. To be able to treasure that time not knowing it would be the last.
One more bath where you struggle to hold a slippery baby with one arm while maneuvering a wash cloth and soap with the other.
Oh those precious memories.
Just let me walk them into their Pre-k class one more time. Sadly, that is all we get. One chance.
Time passes too quickly.
There was a time when I would pray that God would keep them safe. I still pray that prayer but over the years, I have added.
"Dear God,
Please keep my children safe. Keep their friends safe. Help them to make good choices. Let them do things that are pleasing to you. Let them walk in faith. Let them be a light. Let them never forget that they are loved. One day bring a man of God into their lives that will love them unconditionally and lead their family to be Your faithful servants."
Over the years I have spent a little time in our local public schools and in the Sunday school classroom. I have mentored, read, volunteered and served as many times as I could.
During those times I have learned to be an active listener. An active listener really focuses on what is being said.
I have always felt in my heart that some kids are not heard. They are seen for who they are on the outside rather than what they have in their heart.
At times, I felt that some needed to be heard more than others. Those students are the ones I always wanted to ask questions to engage their mind and let them know that I was really listening to them.
I hope they remember that. There is a different feeling when you see someone you have actively listened to. They believe that someone cared enough about them to just listen.
I was not an active listener to my own kids at times. There were demands of motherhood, work and stress in general that stole away some precious moments. Today, I am doing my best to be that active listener in my own home.
This school year, I plan to practice hospitality more often. I want every person who steps through my door to know that they are welcome.
I am mentally taking a different approach to this new beginning. Savoring every precious memory before these last few school years are a distant memory.
Cherish those who care, those who need to be heard, those that have nothing to offer in return. You may impact someones life in a way you never imagined.
You only have one chance at life. One chance to make a difference.
Show someone you care today and let them know that what they have to say is important.
Teach them well. Be a listener. Have a servants heart.
Monday, August 10, 2015
Making My Way
"I prayed to the Lord and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears" Psalm 34:4
How are you?
I admit I am going to miss that question a little. It was the first question my counselor would ask as soon as she would see me.
You see, I kind of graduated and I am very proud of that fact. Five months ago, I wasn't sure that day would come but I worked hard and faced every difficult situation with every ounce of determination I could spare.
The question has changed. Who am I now?
It's a question I ask myself several times a week. I know who I am but exactly who am I becoming?
There are days where I am so confident I scare myself. I am bold and fearless and feel like there is nothing that I cannot accomplish. I love those kinds of days.
It seems as if those confident days are followed by days of worry, anxiety and trying my hardest to trust people. I detest those kinds of days. My mom always told me hate was a strong word so I try not to use it but it fits here. I hate those kinds of days.
Those worry filled days that I hate are actually the ones I should be thankful for. Those days are the ones that drive me to my knees asking God to give me faith and be my shelter and shield. Times that I lean on His to be my rock and fortress because I am weak.
I know I am not the person that I was. I have to admit that some days I do worry about the path I am on. Am I enough? Will I stumble? Will I stay the course? Will I wait patiently? Will my dreams become reality?
The future is a scary but exciting thing. For so many years I lost hope in what the future was and now I find myself reprogramming my mind to stay hopeful for what the future has in store for me. Hopeful for what God has in store for me.
One of the best feelings I have is when I share pieces of me with others. Small tokens to let someone know I have thought about them. A text, card, note, gift, or sharing something I cooked are ways I want others to know they matter.
That is who I am. The person who prays every day to show as much love, care, kindness and respect to others as I can.
This reminds me of a recent instance where I felt called to share with someone who needed encouraging.
My oldest daughter was preparing to take her driving test. We practiced, I raised my voice, she protested and we were both frustrated by the time we entered the DPS office.
I was nervous for two reasons. She was either going to fail the test and be devastated or she was going to pass and be ecstatic. Either way meant some fear for the next chapter in our lives. A teenager behind the wheel without her Mom.
As she was taking her driving test, a dad and his daughter were leaving the office. He asked if I was a nervous mom and of course I replied yes. We chatted about his daughter who just failed the parallel parking portion of the test. You could tell by her face that she was upset and it truly broke my heart. As we talked, I told her that tomorrow was another day and she would do much better the next time.
After my daughter returned with a huge smile, I knew that she had passed but my heart was with the girl that had just failed. She needed more than what I had just said to her. It was an undeniable tug to share something with her.
As we left the parking lot, I noticed a car practicing in the parallel parking section. Both my girls asked why I was driving over there and I explained I had to finish something I started.
I rolled down the window and the young girl rolled hers down. I shared with her that she needed to be confident and let the past stay where it belongs. I let her know we had faith that she would pass the next test and if she felt insecure, she just needed to ask Jesus to be with her and take away her fears.
Her dad nodded in the passenger seat as I poured out what was on my heart and she wiped away a tear that ran down her cheek. My ecstatic heart pounded as I drove away and I said silently "Thank you God for pushing me to share."
Who I am becoming cannot be measured. It can only be felt by those who can see what is in my heart.
How are you?
I admit I am going to miss that question a little. It was the first question my counselor would ask as soon as she would see me.
You see, I kind of graduated and I am very proud of that fact. Five months ago, I wasn't sure that day would come but I worked hard and faced every difficult situation with every ounce of determination I could spare.
The question has changed. Who am I now?
It's a question I ask myself several times a week. I know who I am but exactly who am I becoming?
There are days where I am so confident I scare myself. I am bold and fearless and feel like there is nothing that I cannot accomplish. I love those kinds of days.
It seems as if those confident days are followed by days of worry, anxiety and trying my hardest to trust people. I detest those kinds of days. My mom always told me hate was a strong word so I try not to use it but it fits here. I hate those kinds of days.
Those worry filled days that I hate are actually the ones I should be thankful for. Those days are the ones that drive me to my knees asking God to give me faith and be my shelter and shield. Times that I lean on His to be my rock and fortress because I am weak.
I know I am not the person that I was. I have to admit that some days I do worry about the path I am on. Am I enough? Will I stumble? Will I stay the course? Will I wait patiently? Will my dreams become reality?
The future is a scary but exciting thing. For so many years I lost hope in what the future was and now I find myself reprogramming my mind to stay hopeful for what the future has in store for me. Hopeful for what God has in store for me.
One of the best feelings I have is when I share pieces of me with others. Small tokens to let someone know I have thought about them. A text, card, note, gift, or sharing something I cooked are ways I want others to know they matter.
That is who I am. The person who prays every day to show as much love, care, kindness and respect to others as I can.
This reminds me of a recent instance where I felt called to share with someone who needed encouraging.
My oldest daughter was preparing to take her driving test. We practiced, I raised my voice, she protested and we were both frustrated by the time we entered the DPS office.
I was nervous for two reasons. She was either going to fail the test and be devastated or she was going to pass and be ecstatic. Either way meant some fear for the next chapter in our lives. A teenager behind the wheel without her Mom.
As she was taking her driving test, a dad and his daughter were leaving the office. He asked if I was a nervous mom and of course I replied yes. We chatted about his daughter who just failed the parallel parking portion of the test. You could tell by her face that she was upset and it truly broke my heart. As we talked, I told her that tomorrow was another day and she would do much better the next time.
After my daughter returned with a huge smile, I knew that she had passed but my heart was with the girl that had just failed. She needed more than what I had just said to her. It was an undeniable tug to share something with her.
As we left the parking lot, I noticed a car practicing in the parallel parking section. Both my girls asked why I was driving over there and I explained I had to finish something I started.
I rolled down the window and the young girl rolled hers down. I shared with her that she needed to be confident and let the past stay where it belongs. I let her know we had faith that she would pass the next test and if she felt insecure, she just needed to ask Jesus to be with her and take away her fears.
Her dad nodded in the passenger seat as I poured out what was on my heart and she wiped away a tear that ran down her cheek. My ecstatic heart pounded as I drove away and I said silently "Thank you God for pushing me to share."
Who I am becoming cannot be measured. It can only be felt by those who can see what is in my heart.
"We were glad to share not only God’s good news with you but also our very lives because we cared for you so much" 1 Thessalonians 2:8
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