Prayers for My Daughters

I have written this post in my head many times but never typed it. As I sat up the majority of the night, it came time to begin this post.

Through all of my infertility and miscarriages, I prayed that I would be a mother. I have been given that precious gift twice, and I often don't take the time to thank God for what he has given to me.

I always knew I was destined to be the mom of a girl. I'm just that type of person and I can relate to them. Little did I know what a difficult task this was going to be. Just as I became a secure adult, I would again dive in to the world of an uncertain teenager. I will state again, my girls did not come with an owners manual so I am doing the best I can!

My oldest we refer to as the "spirited" one. For those who know her, you know exactly what I am talking about. Now that she is in high school, I am begining to change her discription to "passionate spirit". She is so full of life and wants to believe that everyone has the best, most honest intentions. With that in mind, the choices she has made have not always been great but I do my best to let her be responsible for her choices and try to mentor her and guide her along the path.

It does not always work out for the best. In her short life of experiences with boys, she has suffered extreme heartbreak as much as happiness. How do I get her to believe that it will not always be this way? Studies show that if you recieve 20 compliments and 1 hurtful statement, you will remember the hurtful statement before you remember the 20 compliments. Am I guilty of this way of thinking? Absolutely, however, I am a work in progress and those thoughts are diminishing daily.

For a mother, it is so hard to let them hurt and not be able to fix them. There have been times when I exercise every ounce of self control I can get. How will she know that not all boys/men will lie to her, cheat on her, belittle her in front of a crowd, threaten her with bodily injury or spread untrue hurtful gossip about her? How will she be happy when that one boy/man enters her life that will be honest with her, love her beyond measure and treat her like a queen and not have her second guess his intentions? How will she know that she can accept love without conditions or limits?

As I sat up for hours last night listening to sobs come from her room, after the quiet came in the middle of the night, I found myself quietly getting into her bed just to listen to her breathe. I did this night after night when she was a baby. I was so scared that something would happen to her that I just needed to hear her sleeping, soothing breath. Waves of emotion filled me. This baby was now a teenager and her breathing was now different.

I began to pour out my emotion into this post. I know other mothers have come before me and others will come after me, and as I have said time and time again, my purpose for beginning this blog was to heal my own hurt and help someone else in the process.

Here are my prayers for my daughters:

I pray my daughters will recognize her own feelings and be compassionate towards the feelings of others.

I pray that they will be kind and compassionate but use their voice when needed. Don't be afraid to speak up when they are being treated unfairly.

I pray that they will form their own opinions of the world and life and not rely on the opinions of others.

I pray that they know that they are of worth. They are valued and they should be treated that way.

I pray that some day they find a man that will love and value them. That they take the time to know their needs, emotions and will love them unconditionally.

I pray they never lose their own self respect. If they don't respect themselves, it's difficult to expect respect from others.

I pray that they remain loyal to family and friends. That they make new friends in life but still remember the old ones. Family & friends are the one thing that you will need in the darkest days. Some will stay and some will fade.

I pray that one day, if they choose to have children of their own, they will know what the purest of love is. Then and only then do you know that all of the things that I did, it came from love.

I pray that they will always remember that nothing they do could be bad enough to be unforgiven. There may be disappointments but they will always have my love.

I pray that they will know that I can be their accountability partner, mentor and biggest fan. They can confide anything in me and I will give them my honest opinion.

To all the mothers that read this, you may agree or disagree but in this day, in this moment, I am truly thankful for the blessings of two beautiful daughters that have my heart in their hands.